A Most Hospitable Woman

While looking around their modest apartment, I began to wonder just how and when I should confront Mandy with the sad truth of this whole charade; who "Samuel" really was and his sordid past. I glanced over at her just then as she flitted about the kitchen, humming to herself, preparing the tea and a plate of cookies. A most hospitable woman and one whom deserved a warning of some kind about the likes of 'Samuel'.

Unicorns R Us

I immediately noticed Mandy's apartment was copiously decorated with unicorns; unicorn paintings on the walls, unicorn statuettes, even a unicorn horn mounted on a fake wooden plaque hanging next to the unicorn oil paintings; a rather grim object, IMHO. There were also some depictions of what I think were rainbows, though perhaps they were surreal depictions, perhaps painted by Mandy herself, and perhaps while in an altered state of some kind. The word psychedelic came to mind. When I inquired as to who had painted them, she responded that Samuel had painted them in art class at school, and had given them to her as a Mother’s Day gift. If she'd known just how much Hideki would once have been able to fetch for such doodlings in the international art world, her eyes would have popped out of her head.

Fugue, and I don't mean Bach

After introducing myself, Mandy let me in, and as she prepared a pot of tea, I took the opportunity to look around her living room. 'Samuel' continued to play his Xbox games, seemingly oblivious to my presence, yet of course it had to be an act, unless he'd been seized by some form of amnesia. I'd read about 'fugues' in which a mentally ill person wanders about in a daze, out of touch with reality. I'd also heard of people being struck over the head, or otherwise emotionally traumatized, and lapsing into amnestic states. But assuming a completely different persona? I supposed it was possible, but as they say, anything's possible...

Peripheral Vision

Despite their little Mother/freakishly-mature-looking-Son tiff, Mandy’s face glowed as only a mother’s face could. She seemed to revel in her role as the mother of a not-so-young-looking 'child'.

When she wasn’t looking, I noticed Samuel flipping her the bird. I think he thought I didn’t catch his retort, but I have unusually good peripheral vision, unlike Mandy who seemed to have poor vision, as evidenced by the coke-bottle-lens eyeglasses she often wore, either on top of her head or on her face. I thought at the time one would have to have poor vision not to see the obvious charade that was Hideki/Samuel. I had to know more.

Oh, ma!

Then Mandy admonished her 'son'. “Samuel, did you finish your homework?” At first he took no notice, due to the blasting ipod buds. She went up to him and poked him in the shoulder. Looking startled, he popped one bud out of his ear. She reiterated. "Did you finish your homework?”

He rolled his eyes, like a teenager would, except we were talking about the creator of several masterpieces of latex art, not some pimply faced, bubble-gum-blowing teen living in the suburbs of Toronto. And yet, if I didn't know any better, there before my eyes, sat just that.

“Oh, ma! Lay off would you!”

I regarded 'Samuel' with astonishment. He still had what sounded like a bad Japanese accent, but his voice was now whiny and high-pitched and occasionally cracked, as a teenage boy's might.

“I mean it, Samuel. If you get another D in Social Studies I’m going to take away your Xbox!”

Tush much

Then Hideki blew the largest bubblegum bubble I'd ever seen, completely obscuring his face, if only temporarily. He'd, of course, had plenty of practice with bubble-shaped objects, though now they were comprised of much different ingredients. When the gum popped, the look on my face was either one of bewilderment or one of anger. Ms. Winters soon dispelled this. A small blonde head peeked up behind the 'boy'. The face attached to that blonde head was rather gaudily made up with blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick.

“Are you Mandy Winters?” I asked. The woman smiled and nodded, pushing Hideki out of the way and extending her hand to me.

As Mandy warmly welcomed me inside her home, Hideki turned his back on me and ambled away, still listening to his iPod. Pointing in his general direction, I asked Mandy, “Is this your…partner?”

Mandy looked shocked. “Partner? No, this is my son, Samuel. I told you about him in my email.”

I looked at the departing back of 'Samuel' again. He was silently boogeying to his iTunes, shaking what I noticed was a rather large behind for such a supposedly young man. It was considerably larger than I'd recalled Hideki's being, but then I'd never really noticed Hideki's tush much.

An Asian Zelig?

Without removing the earbuds, Hideki just stared at me blankly, giving no indication of recognizing me. I saw that he had what appeared to be several pimples on his face which was strange, as Hideki had the most flawless skin I'd ever seen on a man. Seeing as Hideki was an artistic wizard, I thought perhaps it was special effects makeup. Add to that a unibrow, which definitely was not something you'd have seen on Hideki, a man whom I would term Metrosexual, as he was very particular about his grooming and wore only the latest men's designer colognes from Paris. The 'boy' standing before me smelled vaguely of grilled cheese. Somewhere in the back of my mind I began to wonder if I was looking at an Asian version of Zelig, a man capable of changing his physical appearance according to his environment, though surely Zelig had only been a fictional creation of Woody Allen's?

Hideki in knee pants?

When I knocked on Ms. Winter’s apartment door, I was expecting to be greeted by the owner of the cheerful voice I’d encountered over the phone. Instead, when the door opened I immediately recognized the ‘boy’, though if he recognized me, and I don’t understand how he couldn’t have, he gave no indication whatsoever.

Standing before me inside the apartment was no boy, but the elusive balloon art genius, Hideki. He looked, however, very different from what I'd last remembered of Hideki, now wearing denim knee pants with an over-sized NBA t-shirt, and a Toronto Blue Jays baseball cap backwards. He also had white iPod buds in his ears, and the music was turned up so loud I could clearly hear it (thrash-metal, from the sounds of it), and was working on what looked like a grilled-cheese sandwich. He was also eating with his mouth open. Hideki was lactose intolerant and would never have been seen devouring dairy products of any kind, much less eating in such a distasteful manner. Was this really Hideki? Perhaps I'd been mistaken...

An Angel in Hell?

I apologize for failing to update this blog in a more timely fashion. I have just returned from Toronto and so much has happened, I don't know where to begin.

When my flight arrived at Pearson (and luckily, my travels did not include any nakedness while standing inside scary-looking, Homeland Security scanners, though I believe this is set to begin sometime during Mr. Harper's prorogue vacation), it was snowing. I had packed for the weather, so I donned my wool beret and an extra layer of fleece and took a cab to Ms. Winter's apartment building in the suburb of Scarborough.

On the cab ride there, I called Mandy on my cell phone. It was then that she said a most curious thing (paraphrased, of course): "Your timing couldn't be better. My boy, Samuel, came home just yesterday! He won't tell me anything about what happened to him over the last year and a half. He seems to be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and who could blame him. The poor angel has been through hell."

Angel? Hell? If we were talking about the same person, I wouldn't call fame and fortune in the international fringe art world hell, nor would I call Hideki an angel at this point. If this really was him, just what crazy stories was he cooking up now? I was determined to get to the bottom of this.

Naked body scanners

Using Canada 411 I found a Mandy Winters living in the Scarborough area of Toronto and have decided to fly there myself to find out exactly what is going on, naked body scanners be damned! Oh wait, I heard that's only in the US so far. I better hurry up and fly east before Harper decides to spend several millions on some of those scanners. Oh wait again, he prorogued parliament, didn't he. I guess there won't be any large, tax-payer-funded 'homeland security' purchases until next month sometime, after the Olympics are finished, so no worries. Off I go, into the wild blue yonder, in search of Hideki and my thousand bucks.